With hypnotherapy, we work with the conscious and subconscious, in order to bring to conscious awareness the deeper source of the difficulty in the relationship.  In hypnotherapy we begin by speaking to the couple together to discuss the outcome of why they are coming for Hypnotherapy.   We then work individually to clear any conflict within in order for them to be in a confident position to make the right decision for themselves.

Very often during a marital conflict, both parties literally regress back to an emotional state indicative of a younger part of themselves. If we discover that our clients (or we ourselves) are regressing back to a similar experience, it indicates that the childhood conflict was never resolved. Or that the child’s emotional needs never were addressed.

During that younger time we made conclusions and decisions that have remained stored in our unconscious minds, just like the memory chips of our computers.   These perceptions need correction.  An example may be for the woman, “I am unlovable. It’s my fault ” And the behavior pattern that developed from this self-belief may be “I am responsible to keep everyone safe. I have to know where everyone is at all times.” This unconscious programming is playing out in life in many ways, these are the patterns.

The good news is that with hypnotherapy, we can use the emotional reaction of the husband or wife to do an internal search and discover why this couple seems to replay these scenes over and over in their marriage. And why couples often go from therapist to therapist searching for answers but nothing seems to permanently change the relationship or the intense reactions.

The major false belief that traditional relationship therapists have perpetuated is that consciously understanding the problem will change it. This is as false as believing that you can call an electrician to fix your car or your computer. The electrician does not have the tools or the skills to fix your car. And likewise, the conscious mind does not have the knowledge or ability to change the unconscious mind.

Going back to the cause of the beliefs and negative emotions and transforming the outcome enables less charge and reaction in the present day events.  At Soho-Wellness we also have Licensed Relationship Counsellors who can then work with  couples through talk therapy to enable them to build on their relationships from a place of harmony and truth.





16 Feb 2019

Emotions Are Everything

  I work with many clients that feel they are emotionally blocked and come to see me as it is affecting their lives in many ways.  Many are very successful in their business or career, yet in their intimate relationships, they have issues, problems. No matter how hard they work and achieve, the one thing they struggle with is allowing themselves to get close to someone.  To love and be loved; To touch and fully be in the moment; To allow themselves to crave and have what they truly want,…

11 Feb 2019

Have you Suffered Enough ?

Having worked with thousands of clients, I have dealt with many issues, habits and symptoms and believe it or not, some people will keep suffering and hold onto their issue/problem/habit.  So much so, they look on me being the facilitator as the enemy, the one who is calling them out.   The question I ask myself, and my client, is "What are you getting out of having this behavior/issue/symptom ?" This is known in my world as the secondary gain or negative payoff in having their problem.  For many it…

14 Jan 2019

What is Self-Esteem ?

  Let me start off 2019 by looking back over thousands of client sessions which I have facilitated and look at what they all have in common - LOW SELF ESTEEM.  In fact, let us look at what Self Esteem really is. A definition may be "It refers to an individual's sense of his or her value or worth, or the extent to which a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself (Blascovich & Tomaka, 1991)."  This may well be a good definition but how this…