Seconday Gains

griefWhen a client comes in for a session, looking to change a negative behavior, I always look for the gain they feel by behaving this way.
From the smoker who craves the poison to the client who continually eats until it hurts.
What is the Secondary Gain? What do they gain from behaving this way? What can they avoid by behaving this way?
There is always something, otherwise why would they do it?
Something keeps them stuck in this behavioral pattern and the guilt they feel afterwards is not enough to stop.  The pattern will continue until they have had enough.

The feeling of having a reward.  The feeling of fullness. The feeling of completeness. The calmness and relaxation. The control. The ability to avoid some other, greater pain.
Even the poison of the cigarette can make you feel calm and relaxed.  Even the pain from overeating can make you feel in control.

With hypnotherapy, the client can uncover the subconscious motivation, transformation occurs and then the clients can feel at peace with themselves without the negative behaviors.

The time to change is now as long as you are willing to work and comfortable to go along with the process.

Debbie Dubickas CHt
Effective, Affordable Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy
Serving Tampa, FL Since 2012

16 Feb 2019

Emotions Are Everything

  I work with many clients that feel they are emotionally blocked and come to see me as it is affecting their lives in many ways.  Many are very successful in their business or career, yet in their intimate relationships, they have issues, problems. No matter how hard they work and achieve, the one thing they struggle with is allowing themselves to get close to someone.  To love and be loved; To touch and fully be in the moment; To allow themselves to crave and have what they truly want,…

11 Feb 2019

Have you Suffered Enough ?

Having worked with thousands of clients, I have dealt with many issues, habits and symptoms and believe it or not, some people will keep suffering and hold onto their issue/problem/habit.  So much so, they look on me being the facilitator as the enemy, the one who is calling them out.   The question I ask myself, and my client, is "What are you getting out of having this behavior/issue/symptom ?" This is known in my world as the secondary gain or negative payoff in having their problem.  For many it…

14 Jan 2019

What is Self-Esteem ?

  Let me start off 2019 by looking back over thousands of client sessions which I have facilitated and look at what they all have in common - LOW SELF ESTEEM.  In fact, let us look at what Self Esteem really is. A definition may be "It refers to an individual's sense of his or her value or worth, or the extent to which a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself (Blascovich & Tomaka, 1991)."  This may well be a good definition but how this…